We welcome 2023 with new and interesting stories.
Since we started this blog a few moons ago, we have been wildly interested in the Pantone Color of the Year. Why we do is a good question, since we rarely think about it after January. And we can’t remember a single instance when we said to anyone, anywhere – “Why how great, you are wearing the Pantone Color of the Year.” But is a part of our ritual so here we go.
The Pantone Color of the Year for 2023 is Magenta. It is the purple red color that somehow reminds us of royalty. It is now THE color, not only for this season’s fashions but, for nails, lips and even eye shadow. A bit of overkill you say? Yes, but we are thinking perhaps a pair of magenta pants or a cozy wrap magenta sweater will make for the perfect fashion update. We do suggest that you be careful with this color as it may not be for all hair colors and skin types.
We’ve heard from readers that one of the goals for this year is to read more but to read more selectively. We agree as we are inundated everywhere we look. Even while filling my gas tank the other day I found myself watching a video screen on the pump. To this end, we look for stories that take a new look at old tales.
With this in mind, the story that caught our attention this week is from Boston Review, a nonprofit publication that we think is worth following. The article looks as the politics of gender in a recently published book, “ Just Wear Your Smile” by Micki McElya.
She expresses an intensive dislike for being told by way too many men to “Smile”. She liked that for two years with Covid raging, she wore a mask and did not have to force a smile. She eviscerates the subset of psychology called Positive Psychology.
“Positive Psychology, which purports to be the science of the good life, continues to insist that people—especially women—should smile.”
“Positive Psychology remains a leading school of thought in academic psychology, clinical therapy, management and organizational consulting, and coaching. With its interdisciplinary bedfellow Happiness Studies, Positive Psychology represents a large share of self-help books released every year, a publishing market worth about $10.5 billion in the United States in 2020.” However, according to McElya,“ Positive Psychology’s official history is a Great Man story”.
This discipline holds that the burden of unhappiness and sadness is a matter of “mindset,” personal responsibility, and choice. Two psychologists. LeeAnne Harker and Dacher Keltner, published findings on smiling that were embraced by supporters of Positive Psychology. They studied women’s college yearbook photos and concluded that those who smiled went on to have lives that were “happier and had divorce free marriages.” This study resulted in a research movement with “serious repercussions.”
There are some egregious findings that support that happiness and smiling are self-generators. “Smiles aren’t just indicative or predictive of positive life outcomes claims social psychologist Barbara Fredrickson but, actually generate them.”
The author takes exception to much of this discipline in psychology and her arguments are sound. However, we found that she may be overreaching when she sees this body of research as connected to “normative gender roles” and “heterosexual monogamy”. But we leave this for you to read and decide.
We believe a smile is one of the most gracious acts we can bestow on another. When Claudia underwent head and neck radiation, the one question she asked the radiologist and surgeon is whether she would ever be able to smile again.
Since Lucy read this article, she started a quasi resolution for 2023. At the supermarket, she takes an extra beat and looks at her “neighbor” in the aisle or at the check out and smiles. Not that inquiring smile that says “I know you”, but more like, “Well, we are in this together, food shopping is challenging, and with all of the million recipes on Instagram, could I not find something new”.
You will be amazed, or maybe you won’t, how many smile back.
So, let’s start a Smile Commitment, not because we were told to smile to make us more likeable (never!) but because it is a gift we can give each other, specially here in New England when January and February can be bleak.
https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/just-wear-your-smile/
Ciao
Lucy and Claudia
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