Every publication is writing about the before and after effects of the pandemic. A recent article from the New York Times captured our attention. The introduction read:
“For nearly everyone, the coronavirus pandemic has been a seismic, transformative event. Our lives now have a clear “before” and a clear “after.” This past year has pushed us to reckon with our deepest questions, about how we live, how we suffer and how we make meaning of our time on this earth.”
Some people have learned how to be quiet and enjoy the down time. Some have found new interests and pastimes. Some have felt the hibernation to be frighteningly depressing. Those who have lived a lifetime with attention deficit issues found this time particularly trying. Yet even those who are hyperactive have learned to slow down.
The number of people young and old who suffer from mental health issues either overtly or below the surface has increased. As well there has been a dramatic increase in the use of alcohol and drugs as a result of this year of hibernation and fear of the pandemic.
Look at the positive side of this. It was not a wasted year because we learned the importance of our friendships. We learned how important our family is. We knew they were important before but we feel there absence in alarming ways. This time has shown us how it would feel to be without them. We learned that human touch and a hug are truly meaningful and critical to our well-being. We learned that it really does matter when we smile at people, whether a passerby on the sidewalk or a clerk in the market, we know that our smile matters as does theirs.
We learned that meeting for dinner or drinks is really special. It is not about the food but the conversation, looking at the face of the friend across the table, looking at their reactions, their eyes, their smile. It is sharing time together, conversation one-on-one, not through zoom.
We learned that our health care workers are extraordinary. We learned that the delivery men and women from Amazon, UPS, FedEx and the Postal Service are exceptional and made our hibernation less oppressive. We learned to hug our pets and appreciate their soulful looks when they want to go for a walk in a snow storm. We understand now why they curl up in front of the warm fireplace.
We learned how lucky we are to have food and a warm home, and even how lucky we are to have a home. We recognize that there are many women who gave up careers or lost their jobs to take care of their children and in many cases home school them.
Lucy has missed walking through her local library and gazing at the new books and looks forward to that after the pandemic. She says that we lost our freedom to make our own way through our daily lives. Now there are no impulsive trips or surprises or adventures. Everything trip out of our home is a calculated risk and challenge to keep safe.
She misses restaurants but realizes that quiet dinners at home have become special and maybe she will not go out to dinner as much as before. She is amazed to discover that she doesn’t miss shopping for clothes, a pastime she loved before. This time has taught her how to be more patient. She has learned to enjoy more photography and cooking. But she found that not every project or idea or pastime got completed even though there were so many more hours in the day. She is content to realize that things did not get completed because there is so much energy being expended on anxiety and on a distracted lack of focus.
This year has been stressful and it has consumed us. She believes that, like pain which is often hard to reimagine, there will be a time when we will talk about the pandemic in distant words. More than 1,000,000 people have died globally, over 500,000 in America. As with World Wars, the pain and anxiety is universal and deaths are not equally shared. However, we recognize that we are forever connected to the people of South Africa, Brazil, Italy, Canada and elsewhere globally. This pandemic has forever linked our fate and future.
All that said, there is a part of me that is afraid of post pandemic life. I keep thinking I have no friends, I have no life, I do not remember how to be social. I cannot even imagine planning anything. Isn’t this weird? How can I think like this? I know I sound ridiculous but there it is.
I admit it. Lucy has no idea how I can feel like this. We agree that life will never be the same. We all knew that after 911, our lives would be forever changed. Here we are facing another paradigm shift. I so hope we will be able to laugh with and hug each other in this new world.
Let us also hope that the current campaign to “Practice Kindness” become imbedded in our culture.
Stay safe and well
Ciao
Lucy and Claudia